your help

Just a quick request....please pray specifically that i  can find a way through this nausea.  specific prayers have worked in the past and I could use some now.   Thanks!

Shout Out to Your Heroes

Many times we go through life participating in our varied activities and building relationships with those people around us.  We are impacted and shaped by the people we know along the way including spouse, parents, children, siblings, extended family, friends, co-workers and many others. On occasion we take time to reflect on how they have made a difference in our lives and sometimes we let them know that we are grateful for the relationship we have.  Rarely, though, do we have the opportunity to hear from others how we have made a difference in their life.  Many times it takes a significant event for us to reach out to others.

As Wendi has been treated for leukemia I have had the uncommon experience of seeing, hearing and reading how so many people feel about her and the influence she has had on their lives.  It has given me a new appreciation for her and what a special person she is.  I think it has really boosted her spirits and given her strength a boost when it has slackened.

I agree with the many comments that Wendi is a strong person.  Before this experience we had been through some challenges where her strength of spirit showed through but were only warm ups to build her strength to get through this.  She has a great smile that she is willing to share with everyone.  She looks to lift others and help all to feel included and important.  At the hospital everyone who works with her from doctors to nurses and aides all look forward to the days that they are assigned to help Wendi because she has such a good attitude, knows them all by name, and tries to help everyone feel better.  She is the glue that holds our family together. She is our hero.

I would like to encourage everyone who reads this to reach out to their heroes and give them a hero shout out #heroshoutout.  Let them know how they have influenced you and made your life more rich.  It will be an unexpected and very welcome boost for them.

#heroshoutout
#wendiwillwin

Another Birthday and Happy Thanksgiving

In the transplant world, the day of your transplant is your second birthday.  So from now on, my second birthday is 2 days after Callie's birthday, on my neice Hillary's birthday and could occasionally be on Thanksgiving.  Happy Birthday everyone!

Today went well just as expected.  After a few pre-medications Scott's stem cells were hung on my IV pole about 1 pm. By about 1:30 we were done except for some regular monitoring.  Scott is my hero and gave me about 9 million(!) new stem cells. Almost a record for one day of collection!  

It has been wonderful to emotionally turn the corner from beating back cancer to healing from cancer.  Time will tell how much of a rollercoaster we are on but like my doctor reminded my today....I will take what each day gives my and remember that the next day can be completely different.

I am grateful this Thanksgiving for modern medicine and those who know how to use it to benefit me and my family.  I am grateful for all of you and your prayers and words of support.  They lift me more than you know.  I am grateful for a family that truly are friends.  I am especially grateful for my brother, Scott for Emily, Callie and Elizabeth and mostly for my rock, Loren.  I am grateful for a Savior who knows each of us and what we are feeling and for a Father in Heaven who loves me.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Chemo is done!!!!

This final round of chemo before transplant is done!!!  Woot! Woot!  Two different medicines over the last 7 days.  Today is a rest day getting ready for transplant tomorrow.  Crossing our fingers and praying our hearts out that this will be the last chemo she has to go through on this journey.

The march to stem cell transplant keeps moving on.  Wendi is now one day away from receiving her brother's blood stem cells that will start the long process to healing.  Unfortunately the countdown has been going slow as Wendi has been losing energy and fighting nausea more each day.  The last few days have been difficult managing the nausea as the medicines used make her very tired.  Her spirit continues to be strong as she faces the challenge of feeling poorly.

Even when fighting to keep her strength up and food down she is still the Wendi we know and love. The nurses have to measure everything about Wendi -- vital signs, weight, blood levels -- you  name it including her "output" in the bathroom.  She has a variety of nurses and aides that will measure the "output".  Yesterday she pointed out to me that she knows when the male nurse takes care of her "output" because the toilet seat is always left up after he is done.  Reminds me of the discussions I had with Wendi many years ago as I was being "trained" on proper toilet seat etiquette.

The docs here want her to do laps her a few times a day to keep her body strong.  After a few days here on this stay they came in a with a new program they are trying out.  They gave her a lanyard with step counter on it and a iPad that will keep track of the activity each day.  They want her to record 4500 steps a day.  Well they gave it to her and asked her to walk with the physical therapist and an aide the first time to see how she was doing.  They didn't know who they were messing with.  She took off at a good pace and logged 10,000 steps with the poor aide chasing her down the hall pushing her IV tree and the PT working to keep up.  Various people who work here commented that it was quite the site to see them cruising the hallways that afternoon.

Thanks for the continued prayers and support.  Wendi appreciates them very much and they help keep here spirits up.

If you have pictures of your Wendi's Fight Club bracelet or window stickers in action, please share them.

#wendiwillwin

T-7

The countdown is on!  7 days to transplant (T-7).  I am feeling good right now and just passing the time.  Nausea will come probably next week but for now I am receiving chemo every 6 hours around the clock for 3 more days and then I have a day of rest before another 2 days of a different chemo drug.  In talking to the nurse yesterday I relearned that my chemo targets fast growing cells therefore my bone marrow is a prime target.  In other cancers the doctors can only give so much chemo before it begins to affect your blood numbers.  With leukemia, the point of chemo is to bottom out those numbers so the doses of chemo are higher and hospital stays are mandatory. 
I did have the chance yesterday to meet some other patients on my floor.  They are incredibly strong and resilient!  I am blessed to be in this position with a strong body and a perfect match donor.  It is a rare thing....prayers are being answered and will continue to be.  
#WendiWillWin

More Rollercoaster Rides and a Plan

Loren and I looked at each other this week as we sat in the hospital room I had just been admitted to and commented that this is one crazy ride!  I got a phone call on Monday asking me to come down to the hospital and be admitted for at least one night.  The headaches which I had been having for the past 5+ weeks had changed and that made my doctors nervous enough to schedule a CT scan followed by an MRI.  Now they needed a neurologist to see me but the only way a neurologist can see a new patient quickly is to have the patient admitted to the hospital. (Insert your own comments on the healthcare and insurance companies here).  I was pretty sure that the headaches were due to the 5 spinal taps I had but my doctors wanted it taken care of quickly.  So, we sat in the hospital room, staring at each other and wondering what the neurologist was going to say.  After waiting for several hours the neurologist came and after a lengthy discussion of my symptoms she came to the conclusion that at least one of the 5 holes that had been put in my back was leaking spinal fluid and causing my severe headaches.  The best way to fix that is with a blood patch.  Since I am in remission and my blood is clean right now we decided to move ahead with the procedure the next day.  So, I spent a lovely night in the most expensive hotel in town and had the blood patch performed the next day.  I must have had a different reaction than most people...the procedure was fine but the rest of the week was horrible.  By Friday my headaches were gone but the pain in my back where the blood was injected was incredibly painful and is still not 100%.  After a rough week, I finally remembered what I had promised myself on Day 1...I was going to choose to be grateful.  I had forgotten that and the week was more miserable because of my attitude.  So today I am grateful that I don't have those horribe headaches any more!

The Plan
Now that I am in remission, we have a plan for transplant.  I will be admitted to the hospital on the morning of Monday, the 17th.  On Tuesday I will begin 4 days of chemo, followed by 2 days of rest and then 2 more days of chemo.  Yes, this chemo will be just as aggressive as the last round I had.  Then on the 26th, the day before Thanksgiving and continued on Thanksgiving day the infusion of my brother's stem cells will happen!!!  I am excited to be at this point in my treatment.  After the infusion, it is more of the same ride we have been on but with a twist.  I will need to wait for my numbers to come back up, which in this case means that my brother's stem cells are making blood for me!  The twist is that we will need to guard against but almost plan on some form of graft vs host disease.  This new twist will be part of our lives for at least the next 2 years.  Depending on the type and severity, I can have an extended stay in the hospital and/or be readmitted after coming home.  So, the rollercoaster ride will continue.  I am glad my family is with me as we go up and down...they are my peace and my sanity.

A Return to Church

As most of you know, I and my family are members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.  In our church we do not have any paid clergy and all of us at different times are asked to serve in different positions so that our congregation is taken care of and services happen each week.  For 1 1/2 years before my diagnosis I had been asked to serve as the president of the Relief Society (our congregation's part of a world-wide women's organization).  As a result of this responsibility I grew to love and care deeply for the women in our congregation.  I knew some of their struggles and mostly of their faith and love for their families and for Jesus Christ.  

With a diagnosis of leukemia there is no time to let your mind wrap around what this means to your family or your life.  There is not time to consider what type of treatment to have or to make arrangements for the other obligations in your life.  There isn't time to even prepare your family.  AML is so aggressive that everything is fast tracked.  I was diagnosed and admitted to the hospital on Saturday and chemo started on Monday.  

Because of these circumstances and the following isolation to protect from getting germs, I was unable to talk with the women I served with, I was just gone.  I was unable to return to any church activity, even attending our sacrament meeting for several months.  I was able to have the sacrament administered to me in the hospital and at home so I felt as if my relationship with Jesus Christ was still growing, but I missed attending my meetings on Sunday and I knew it was impossible for a while.  My activity within my congregation is a central part of my life and service to others.  To have this along with everything else I was involved with removed with no warning was difficult and the resulting isolation has been a challenge.  Thankfully I have had wonderful friends along the way who have recognized this challenge and helped me feel connected to a larger community.

Then, last Sunday, October 26, we decided to launch Operation Get Mom to Church.  My family saved the last row in the chapel and some friends sat in front of us so I would have a barrier around me to protect from germs.  My plan was to arrive during the opening hymn and leave during the closing hymn - again to protect from germs.  (If I could I would stay and give everyone a huge hug!)  So, I put on my dress and a scarf and drove over to church.  Emily was waiting for me to show me where they were sitting.  As I walked into the chapel with everyone singing I was overcome with a feeling of coming home.  The tears came without warning and with no stopping.  I knew I was in a room where people lived the gospel of Jesus Christ - they cared for and loved their neighbor as themselves.  They, along with all of you, had done this for me and my family.  I am so grateful to be a part of so many communities that are filled with people who are so amazing and selfless and who live as Christ would have them live.  God was able to give me a glimpse of heaven that day - to be surrounded by people who love you. Thank you for loving me and my family - heaven is complete when everyone I love is there.